when intoxicated... [[Abi & others later?]]

It was still pretty early in the day, maybe two, three o'clock... Darnell wasn't sure. He sat, his one leg outstretched in front of him, his other scrunched up so his arm could rest on his knee. In his extended arm he held a cigarette, in the other a black water bottle containing liquid which was not water. His cigarette was half gone- the bottle was still full. He swished the liquid inside around a little- he was still considering drinking it- but not drinking it yet.

In his head he could see this chart being drawn out, and it was entitled "Abigail Applebottom." Two columns beneath were labeled "with" and "without." Thinking about "with" he smiled at first, but then phrases like "how would that work?", "she couldn't be happy" and "you can't give her what she needs" followed and he brought his cigarette to his lips: inhale, exhale, stare off into space. His train of thought switched to "without." Automatically the cigarette came up: inhale, exhale, stare off into space. And a drink- yes, a drink might be nice after all.

It was cold outside, and Darnell's jacket wasn't really doing a good job of keeping him warm. But he sat there in the damp, fuming secretively, anger building up inside of him with every passing second, and yet... he just stayed there. He sat, inhaled, exhaled, stared off into space.

Abi wasn't exactly sure what had been going on for the few months they had been back, but she was seeing Darnell differently. It was good, but she always felt funny about it. It wasn't right to just suddenly leap on him when they had been friends this long. It wasn't fair on either of them and their friendship was more important to Abi than that. She had been sat in her dorm working when, her thoughts had turned to the two of them. She wondered where Darnell was, it was early into the afternoon, as Abi stood up from her desk and began looking around the school.

She began to wonder if he had gone into the lake house. It wasn't exactly the best place to go at this time of day, most definitely cooler later in the evening, but Abi had checked out all of the other hangouts. This was the last one. Her shoes crunched into the earth, snapping twigs and fallen copper leaves in her path, as the lake house came into sight. Abi frowned, it didn't look like Darnell had come in, she turned around, to face the lake, staring off until something caught her eye, on the other side. Abi squinted, there was smoke coming from somewhere, it wasn't that cold over there was it? Surely the person wasn't smoking, although, it probably was the best place for it.

She couldn't make out who it was, but Abi began walking round, it was practically a whole hike - adding a little exaggeration, it was a long time! Taking no longer than a few minutes really, Abi finally realised who it was standing on the otherside. In front of her, was none other than Darnell Allred himself and better yet he was smoking. She frowned, with a sigh as she walked closer to him, looking down at the cigarette in his hand. Abi rolled her eyes, sliding into the earth next to him, it didn't matter if her clothes got dirty, this was hardly the time to think about it.

Abi bit her lip, noticing a bottle in his other hand. "Don't tell me! This too?!" She asked angrily. Darnell looked so calm, it was irritating because whenever Abi watched him take a drag of that stupid cigarette, he really wasn't calm at all. "What exactly are you doing?" Abi asked, her eyes turned from his face back to the cigarette. "I thought you said you were only smoking" She looked back at him worriedly. "Although, that's hardly a good thing, either" Abi added.

She turned away, staring out onto the lake, leaning her hands back, as she leant on them. "I seriously. Do not get it" Abi muttered. She couldn't say what she was going to say, she wouldn't off but she couldn't think about it when she was with him like this, because it completely ruined it. All of the feelings that she had, all jumbled up made her feel sick when he was like this, in that state. "How long have you been sat out here?" Abi glanced at him, she had found him, they may as well have a conversation.

When Darnell saw Abi approaching, at first, he thought maybe he was imagining her. And he thought it was a good thing that that really wasn't Abi, because if it was, he'd probably be in big trouble for sitting there smoking and drinking. Especially the and drinking part. And he thought it was a good thing her image would probably be disappearing into the back of his mind soon... but then... it didn't.

Crap.

She was angry.

"I'm sitting," he almost said at first, feeling today like a bit of a smarta--. But he bit his tongue- that wasn't cool- especially to Abi. He was just mad. He shouldn't be taking it out on her. Even if she was what it was all about.

He stayed silent for awhile, just taking in the fact that she was real- she was truly sitting there angrily beside him. And worriedly- just like Abi.

"Been out here awhile... an hour maybe..." he said nonchalantly, following up with another drag. The smoke rose from between his lips, and he watched it- he didn't want to look at Abi. He couldn't do that. It'd make his head start to hurt even more than it already was. Her presence made him tense. He felt horrible- which made him want to smoke even more. "You giving Isaac those guitar lessons again?" The question was asked as calmly as he could muster- and yet somehow it still seemed to seethe between his teeth. He couldn't stand that kid- and Abi was the reason for that. He knew they had some sort of history- and he knew Isaac had a record to rival even that of Will's. And yet... part of him wanted to see Abi end up with him- so he could have a real reason to be angry and not just the pitiful feeling of self-disgust that enveloped him now.

Abi rolled her eyes at his smartass reply, she didn't get why he was annoyed at her, or just taking it out on her. All she'd done was come over, it was quiet. Darnell didn't seem to want to speak, she shifted a little, it was getting awkward. Then he opened his mouth again, a whole hour sitting here drinking and smoking. Abi began staring at him, not understanding what was so interesting about a puff of smoke, she couldn't understand why he was in such a bad mood, what exactly had sparked it this time?

"You giving Isaac those guitar lessons again?"

Abi nodded, "Yeah. He's getting good" She turned her head away again, rolling her eyes. Abi looked down at the ground, drawing her legs in and twisting them to the side of her, she picked up a leave and began tearing it apart. Abi hated how Darnell didn't seem to like Isaac that much, Isaac hadn't done anything, but Darnell was her best friend. "It's not about that though? Is it?!" She asked laughter present in her voice, if it were that was a ridiculous excuse.

"I think.. Abi paused, trying to work out what he would say in reply "You should put the drink down" She whispered, she didn't want to have to lug Darnell back, it wouldn't get to that if he just woke up. Abi lifted her head uop from the leave, as it dropped to the floor in pieces, whatever happened she wouldn't leave Darnell. If he said no, she'd stay, just to make sure he got back ok. He was by a lake.

Her eyes hardened, what was making Darnell do it now? "What made you come down here, anyway?" Abi flicked a bug climbing along her leg as she spoke to Darnell.

Crappy mood. Really crappy mood. And Darnell's crappy moods had a somewhat intoxicating effect on him as it was- like when he was drunk- he was liable to say some really stupid things without thinking about them before they left his mouth. It was either that or he kept his mouth shut- which also seemed to annoy people. Just can't win them all.

He didn't answer the Isaac related question. It wasn't about that. But he wasn't about to admit that. He really didn't even know what to say. 'I'm drinking and smoking because I already love you more than is healthy for me, so I might as well just indulge in every unhealthy habit I'm addicted to already since I definitely can't have you,' came to mind- but that was a hell no.

"I didn't come here to jump in the lake or anything if that's what you were thinking," he said, setting the drink down anyway. "And I only had one drink- the bottle's full." He breathed out heavily for a moment, his fingers clenched around the bottle, his knuckles growing white.

"I don't know why, Abi- maybe thinking about my bum of a mother who left me out here to rot on my own- my f---ing father who very obviously and willingly doesn't give a sh-- about me- druggie sister who going down the same f---ing path I hate and it's all my fault- my uselessness outside of these school walls... and..." Letting go of the drink, he brought that hand up to his throbbing head. If Abi didn't leave soon, he was going to crack and tell her everything that was really going on in his head. Danger, Will Robinson. Alarm, flashing red lights, the whole nine yards.

Abi rolled her eyes, "Nah. You can jump in the lake if you really want" She said, shrugging, she was more worried about him drinking and staying out here. It was cold! "Hmm" One drink, that was good, considering there was a full bottle in front of him. She bit her lip as he began furiously answering her question, tensing up at his words, this was about his family!?

Abi shut her eyes for a second, slowly opening them, "It's not just those people that care about you!" She shook her head, "Sitting there doing this isn't exactly helping anyone!" Abi glared at him, "Wallowing like this! It's stupid! It's not your fault" She stated, nodding her head firmly. She reached a hand out to his, as he dropped the bottle onto the floor, she scooted closer as she wrapped her hand around his. Abi gave a half-laugh, "You are most definitely not useless either" She swallowed nervously.

"If your sister is following you down have you tried to talk to her about it?" Abi asked. "Warned her of your mistakes?" She took a deep breath, "I bet you're not even thinking straight right now" Abi muttered, her eyes on Darnell for a moment. "You keep coming back to the same problem, you know what it does and there are far better ways to handle it" She frowned, it was a random time to come down here now. Had something happened to his family, had he gotten a call? Or found Alicia, or just had some silly rumour? "I'm not just going to let you sit here, thinking ridiculous thoughts!" What sort of friend would that make her?!

Abi nudged him in the side, "Let's just go back inside"

It wasn't just those people... yeah- Darnell knew that. He was just being ridiculous pretty much on purpose. He was trying so hard to get Abi to go away- he wanted to wallow... and then again he didn't. He wanted her... and then again he didn't... But what he needed- what he knew he needed- what he thought he needed- was time. He needed time to think.

"She won't listen to me..." Taking a final drag of the too-short cigarette he pressed the cindery end into the cold hard dirt and twisted it around. Then he took out the next.

"No." He lit it, inhaled, exhaled... "No- you know what- I don't think this is the problem. Maybe- maybe the problem is that I'm trying to change into something I'm just not. And don't take it all emo-like or whatever I'm not seeking attention, I'm not screaming out for help- I'm just smoking. I smoke. It makes me feel better, da--it. And I'm not going inside- you're not getting it Abi! I'm glad I met you- I'm glad you care about me- you worry, even- you would choose to waste your own time sitting out here in the cold just to try to bring me in or make me better or whatever but I don't want you to. You have so much that you can do when you leave here- you can go to Montana and just live and have fun and be successful- I- I don't have that. When I'm out of here, it's hello to my uncle's construction site if my father has his way and goodbye all dreams of anything else. I'm not going anywhere. You are.. And when I first met you I should have realized it then- I wish I had 'cuz then this wouldn't feel so bad inside. You're the best friend I've ever had but the truth of the matter is- we'll probably never see each other again..." He was choking on his words at this point- the only thing keeping him together was the rush of nicotine surging through with each more frequent inhalation. He was clutching the bottle again, too. He looked at Abi for a second, and then stared down at the dirt. She was so freaking gorgeous. He really didn't want to do this. But, Darnell, with his superman-save-the-girl stupida-- complex, did: "Maybe... maybe we should start getting used to that now..."

He wondered if these words might make her cry. And if they did- who would she cry to? Isaac? Maybe... There he stopped wondering.

Abi shrugged, shaking her head as he finished one and picked up another cigarette. "I'm not wasting my time" She muttered crossly, interrupting as she folded her arms. Where on earth was he going with his speech, as soon as he uttered her hometown Abi's mouth fell open and her head jerked to the side sharply. Staring straight at him, Abi felt sick, sick to her stomach. He was saying that, they never should have been friends in the start.

Back when they first met, she felt like there was something wrong with her. Why couldn't he do anything? He was a great musician, just like her! Her hair flicked as she moved her head quickly, what had happened to the nice cute Darnie she knew and loved? Everything had changed because this was their last year, and now he was regretting being friends with her in the first place?!

Her breathing quickened and she tried to keep the tears back, it would just upset him more seeing her cry. "Yo-You mean. You're breaking up with me? You don't want to be my friend anymore?!" Abi asked slowly her voice breaking, tears rising, she could feel them resting on her eyelids. "I don't just want to go to Montana!" She shook her head, "I can't have fun without you" Abi pushed herself up from the ground, shifting the pile of leaves, blinking as her tears ran down her cheeks.

"I'm going to miss you too" Abi didn't know what it would be like to not see Darnell everyday, even on the phone it would just make her miss him evenmore. They had even thought about what they would do after Harriman, and Darnell had made it seem fun, move to Montana and stay with her. It would've been great. 'Would've' being the appropriate word.

"I'm right here in front of you. So what's the use sulking over something that'll happen to everyone" Abi rubbed her cheek, her wrist catching the tears as they fell, "You're just...going to give up then?" She said softly, sniffing. "You were my best friend!" Abi glared at him, quickly turning her eyes to the cigarette disgustedly. "People that give up are no friend of mine" She whispered, turning around and walking back the way she came. Abi wasn't leaving with who she was looking for either, but she no longer had any friends where she was walking from.

When Abi started to cry, that's when his words really hit him. He'd thought about doing this before- thought about saying something to make her want to forget him so he in turn, could try and forget her- so he wouldn't feel so horrible all the time for not being able to be with her. So he wouldn't actually try and be with her, and ruin her life- like he thought he would if he was with her.

It was then the realization hit him: he was a total and complete idiot.

But like many wise thoughts, it was fleeting- in his head one moment, out the next. He had turned his head from her, because his eyes were tearing up a little too. And he kept his head turned as he listened to the tell-tale crunching of the ground beneath her feet- she was walking away.

Darnell Allred was no longer the best friend of Abigail Applebottom.

In fact, Darnell Allred wasn't her friend at all.

Crap.