Drawing Jay-Jay (Jane)

Kaylor shifted on her bed, narrowing her eyes at the image she was in the middle of sketching. This was probably the third or fourth pose Jane had taken for Kaylor. She liked to have several options when it came to serious paintings. And it would be cruel to ask Jane to stand still for hours. Painting took a long time, so she sketched what she wanted and then used that to fill empty canvases later on. She'd already started a painting of that day before school started. The one of Gerard and Saffron hugging had really tugged at her. So she'd started that project. She would be at it now, if not for the fact that she wanted to just sketch for a bit. Painting took a lot more concentration than this. And as long as Jane was free, she might as well make the most of it.

Shifting again, she glanced up at Jane. "Tilt your chin just a bit more to your left, please..." Trailing off, Kaylor returned to the work her hand was creating. She trusted Jay-Jay to do as she asked. At the moment, she'd put the senior in a throne that she'd somehow acquired from MOB with a black curtain behind it. She'd had Jane sit down so that one leg was flung carelessly over one of the arms, a scepter dangled in elegant fingers and a crown was perched jauntily on golden locks. Then she'd asked Jane to adopt a haughty, bored expression. This sketch was turning out to be her favorite. "I think I might make a painting out of this one, Jay-Jay...I really like how its turning out."

Jay's butt was starting to get kind of sore, but she wasn't really aware of that. Too much. She supposed that learning to sit still without fidgeting was an amazingly good exercise for any budding actor, but what was really keeping her in check was her excitement over Kaye asking to draw her. She'd been sketched by the sophomore on a few occasions in the past few years, and every time the artist came up with some ridiculously gorgeous piece of art. And this one was looking to be one of the best ever! Jay was known around school as the happy-go-lucky girl who always had a smile for everyone, and the prideful, vain character that Kaye had asked for gave Jay an excuse to step out of herself. She had her nose up in the air and her fingers curled so loosely around her scepter that it was threatening to fall to the floor with a clatter. She was going for something of a Lady Macbeth. One who feared the blood on her hands not because she felt any scrap of guilt, but because it was a threat to her own selfish aspirations. She followed Kaye's direction, giving a bored, drawling sigh (one of the person she was posing as, not an actual representation of her own feelings) as she tilted her chin to the left, bringing out the thin cords in her neck.

Her detached demeanor broke, though, when Kaye voiced the possibility of turning her sketch into a full-blown painting. "Oh really!" she asked, beaming, "That would be so amazing..I..oh, sorry!" She closed her eyes and wiped the grin from her face, pulling her day-to-day personality away to make room for the one she was posing with for Kaye. She gave a haughty sniff as her eyes roamed the room, her aching behind ignored once more in favor of eye-snooping through the sophomore's room. She noticed a music player by Kaye's bed and had to fight a smile, she wondered what Kaye listened to when she went to sleep. Jay was a big fan of Coldplay-induced unconsciousness, but it was always great fun to find out what other people used to sleep. One of the seniors last year had listened to heavy metal each and every night. She would have to ask Kaye about it when this sketching session was done. That and about the fact that there were a few things with Kaye's stuff that looked like they didn't really belong to her. Maybe she had a boyfriend back home?

Kaylor glanced up at Jay-Jay again and almost laughed. The senior was taking her role very seriously. It was definitely helping Kaylor, but it was also hindering. Every time her eyes fell on the blond, she wanted to laugh. This character was just so very unlike Jay-Jay that it seemed somewhat funny to see her friend with such a strange expression on her face. Pushing her mind past that, she focused again. The details of the face were especially important and she didn't want to mess this up. Amusement fled as her hand's movements became smaller, defining the eyes, the mouth...The expression had to come alive or everything would mean nothing. She bent closer to her work, willing it to breathe for her.

Jane's sudden movement broke her concentration momentarily. Kaylor's hand froze centimeters above the paper. Her dark head rose and her gaze fell on Jane. Instead of hostility, which most might expect, Kaylor laughed. "It's alright! I know I've kept you sitting for a long time. Most people aren't able to hold still as long as you have. If you need a break just say the word. Lucky for you, though, I'm almost done." The blond stilled and the brunette bent over her sketch again. Her eyes flickered from Jay-Jay's face to the drawing. Almost...A little more...Shading here...Oh, oh, erase that...Ah, good, good...THERE! As Kaylor's hand rose, the sketch seemed to finally be alive. The expression had been the key all along. Nodding to herself, Kaylor carefully set the sketch on her pillow and then lay back. "You're free, your highness. You may move around, stretch your limbs." She giggled as she spoke, she was no actor but it was always fun to play around a little.

Jay was more than happy to stay still for as long as Kaye needed, mostly because Kaye never insisted that she did. Jay had tried on a few occasions to sit for different artists who had asked nicely or who were really desperate for anyone to pose for them (usually the younger ones who weren't quite ingrained in the school yet), but none had so far measured up to Kaye's standards of talent and patience with the sometimes (often) fidgety Jay. So, despite the slightly sore rear end, Jay toughed it out through the last few minutes of the sketch, sure to keep her expression on like a mask. She didn't really need a break yet, and Kaye was fast enough with her sketching that Jay was sure the other girl could finish it up in no time, which was exactly what she did.

Jay took a deep breath and finally let her lurking smile return to the surface, "We are so grateful." she said haughtily. A tone which now did not match her expression at all. She stood up, stretched her arms to the ceiling, rolled her neck around a few times, and then began to massage her sore rump. "They never really tell you how uncomfortable those thrones were. If they did, I think less little girls would want to be princesses so badly." She stepped away from the throne and walked over next to Kaye. Bending deeply at the knees, she hunkered beside Kaye and looked at the sketch pad. "Wow. You know, I know that you're a genius and all, but damn. Your sketching is still better than I could have expected." She cocked her head and focused on the face of the sketched...her. "Damn, I look like a raving bitch." she shook her head, still smiling, "Do you think people would still talk to me if I looked like that all the time?" She stood up and stretched again, her eyes falling on Kaye's music player once more. "Oh, hey. I meant to ask you when we were done. What do you listen to when you sleep? Stop me if that's like an uber personal question, but I'm just curious."

Kaylor was well aware that Jay could be fidgety (very often). Luckily for them both, Kaylor had unending patience, but that was probably due to her long years of patiently waiting out Kale's stubbornness. Oh yes, Kaylor was far more stubborn than anyone else. No one had yet to outdo her. That was due to her infuriating skill with patience. Kale would get more and more frustrated when she didn't react properly. She would ignore him, sketch his angry expressions or just randomly doodle nothing in particular. So, she'd definitely had her training. Jay-Jay was nothing in comparison to Kale. The blond was just fidgety, that was a good sign, actually. Some people who didn't fidget actually ended up falling asleep. Kaylor had had that happen to her on occasion. Her revenge was to sketch, and then paint, a picture of them sleeping in a most unbecoming pose. Models should never sleep unless that is the point of the art, otherwise Kaylor considered them to be rude people.

Kaylor grinned. "I bet you are." She listened as Jay-Jay stood and began restarting the blood flow in her poor veins. "They usually had very plush cushions to sit on. I tried to find one for you, but had to make do with just the throne. I think it looks great without the cushion. This way perhaps the royal vision has just thrown a fit or something." She turned her head, eying Jay-Jay's expression thoughtfully. It took her a moment to respond to the compliments directed her way. "Ah, it still needs work. I'm not that big of a genius Jay-Jay." She chuckled softly. "I certainly would...I adore you too much to ever abandon you. I'm sure everyone else feels the same." She sat up, watching Jane's face flicker between expressions. She was distracted from her studying of her friend with the question pertaining to her music player. Kaylor glanced at it and then blushed. "Ah...That...It..." Hesitating momentarily, her voice fell to a mumble: "It's Kale's voice..."

Jay had expected Kaye to burst out about some obscure but no doubt awesome band, one that Jay would undoubtedly now have to power search itunes for and listen too into the wee hours of the night as well. At worst she thought it could always be some embarrassing personal favorite, like Backstreet Boys or Spice Girls, but what Kaye came out with was something that Jay hadn't expected in the slightest. "Oh. Oh Kaye, I'm so sorry. I didn't know." When Jay and Kaye had been trapped in that monstrous elevator last year, Jay had learned about Kaye's best friend and how he had been ripped from her life so violently. She would never be able to understand the pain that Kaye was going through over this, pain that had lasted for years and was still lingering, but the few times that Kaye had brought up Kale since the elevator incident Jay had always put one hundred percent into the conversation and tried her best to give Kaye a sympathetic ear. Jay always felt ill at ease trying to cheer people up, but she had realized that giving people half-baked advice or sappy hallmark card 'cheer up's never really helped very much. At least in Kaye's case Jay had realized that what was really needed was a trusty ear to hear what Kaye needed to say. Jay didn't wan't to force the subject of Kale onto her friend, but from the way that Kaye had spoken it seemed that it might be a good idea to talk about it.

"I can't imagine what I'd do if I lost Will," she said, her mind forcing her thoughts away from the possibility of an overdose or something, "Oh Kaye." Jay didn't think it was creepy or weird or anything of the sort to have a loved ones voice on recording. She often listened to audio notes her siblings and parents sent her, and they were only on the other side of the country. She gulped, trying to dislodge the knot forming in her throat, and pulled Kaye into a big hug. "I know I'm probably making a stupid big deal about it, but do you want to talk? I know stuff has a way of rattling around in my head if I don't force it out somehow." She gave Kaye one last squeeze then pulled away, "If you wanna talk I'm here, Kaye."

Jay's expression said it all. She'd been expecting something normal. And here Kaylor was, offering her something so wrong and twisted that it called for a mental institution. Part of her was surprised her friend wasn't dialing the feds to come and pick her up. Who listened to a dead person's voice at night? When Jay-Jay's lips parted, Kaylor began to prepare herself for the worst. What would her friend say? Would she be called silly or something? Well, alright, Kaylor had talked to Jay-Jay about Kale before, several times. Jane had never looked down upon her or anything then, but this...This was taking it all to a whole new level. What Jay-Jay said, though, took Kaylor by surprise. Hazel eyes widened. "S-Sorry? Jay-Jay, no!! There's nothing for you to apologize about."

Will. Oh yes, Jay-Jay had her own best friend. Kaylor smiled weakly and gestured at herself. As though to say that she was a fine example of what might just happen if someone were to lose the person they shared all their secrets with. The person they trust the most in the entire world. She was quite an example, torn up by her own confused feelings and quietly upset when Kale's memory was slighted. People had yelled at her for being so sensitive about it all, but she just couldn't get over him.

She was shaken out of her dreary thoughts when Jay's arms wrapped around her. Kaylor pulled out her old, familiar serene smile. The one she used to suffer through pain and hurt and bullying. "You're not making a 'stupid big deal' about it, Jay-Jay. Sometimes I need to be reminded that it's okay to cry. I forget...Often. So, I hold it in....I think I've been resisting the idea of mourning him, for I know that if I do, the wound of his death might heal and scar over...I don't want to forget him Jay-Jay. I know I'm a fool, but I'm so afraid I'll forget something. His voice, his face...I can't stand it!" Her smile trembled as tears filled her eyes. Embarrassed, she brushed them away and focused on her sketch of the blond. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be burdening you with this. You offer me an ear and I bring about a flood."

Jay shrugged Kaye's first words off. Even though she had nothing to apologize for, she still felt a tug in her conscious mind telling her to express her sorrow and sympathy with words, even if something like that was completely impossible. Kaye was probably sick and tired of having the people she told about Kale (however few or many that was, Jay wasn't entirely sure) offering her empty apologies for events that were completely out of their (and anybody else's) hands, but Jay still felt the urge to apologize. Maybe she should apologize for apologizing? Nah, that would be kind of ridiculous. She knew she'd have a heard time not rolling her eyes at somebody who did that. Instead she stood there, trying to make out the conflicting emotions vying for control of Kaye's face. Even when Kaye was as torn up as she must be thinking about Kale, it was hard for Jay to see any large differences from Kaye's usual behavior. The smile Kaye gave when Jay released her from the hug was a little strained, but Jay thought she wouldn't have noticed the difference if she hadn't been looking for it.

Jay kept a reassuring hand on one of Kaye's while her friend spoke, committing her words to memory the way she had a habit of doing to things that were important to her. She didn't want to give Kaye an ear if it was just there to hear and not listen. Jay took things like this seriously, having seen kids at Harriman taking drastic measures when there was nobody to give them emotional support. "There's no reason for you to apologize, either Kaye." Jay said, smiling reassuringly. The quick way that Kaye wiped her tears away made Jay a bit sad that her friend was ashamed to cry in front of her, but it might be the person she was crying about not the person she was crying to that made her this way. "You don't want to forget him, huh? How bout you tell me a little more about him, then. Supposedly teaching a subject helps you learn it too. So help me learn the subject of Kale. You can start by telling me his favorite color." She smiled warmly at Kaye, genuinely interested in knowing more of Kaye's best friend, though a bit more interested in helping Kaye through the tears that Jay had incurred with her stupid questioning. "If you don't mind, that is." she added hastily, not wanting to bully Kaye into talking about something she didn't want to.

Kaylor was not ashamed of crying in front of Jane so much as she didn't want to upset her friend. She rarely felt shame in crying, unless someone was telling her she was being stupid for it. Crying was a natural part of life and Kaylor welcomed it as she did everything else about life, with open arms. Death was probably the one thing she had refused to acknowledge thus far. And that was only because it had taken Kale away from her. She didn't think of Death as a bad thing, she just wouldn't accept it. It had driven too close to home. That was to be expected, but she should've pulled out of this years ago. Unfortunately, Kaylor could get unexpectedly stubborn when she wanted to...And when it came to Kale she could get exceptionally stubborn. Jay-Jay had never tried to push her or prod her in any direction when it concerned the aforementioned male's memory. In fact, Jay-Jay had patiently waited for Kaylor to tell her things about Kale rather than prying and asking. She appreciated that, Kaylor was not the type of person to share every detail of her life with just anyone and not in the beginnings of a friendship. Things were revealed gradually as they became better friends.

She blinked, turning Jane's idea over in her head. Teach Jane about Kale? Teach her about the one boy she could not get over? A smile formed as various memories ran through her head. Glancing back at the blond, Kaylor sat up, propping herself against the wall. "I don't mind...Now, where to start?" Her cheeks re-obtained their rosiness as she sat and thought about all the fun things she'd once done with Kale. Sliding off the bed, she stepped over to her dresser and pulled the top drawer open. Out of it she pulled a nice sized scrap-box. Her own personal 'Memory Box'...Returning to Jane, she pulled the top off and pulled out a picture. "This is Kale. Kale Quinton McSmith...This is actually one of the last pictures ever taken of him. He wanted to go get pictures taken professionally, so he had his parents drive both of us a professional photographers and we had a session. It a lot of fun. You can probably tell from the picture alone...Kale was incredibly mischievous. When he was stuck in the hospital for long periods of time, he'd call me up and have me beg my mom to drop me off. And then we'd play pranks on the nurses. I'm still not sure whether they loved or hated us....He was the most well-known of all the children in the Pediatric Oncology Ward." She paused, studying the picture fondly.

"Remember the quilt I brought with me to the picnic? We made that, just him and me. We were five and Kale suddenly decided he wanted to make a quilt to count all the days of his life, until he died. He threw a fit when our mothers tried to do it for us. He insisted that it was a project only the two of us could undertake. I remember those first few months, my finger bled from messing up and poking my fingers accidentally all the time. Now..." She closed her eyes. "Now I could do it blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back...." Opening her eyes again, Kaylor smiled at Jane.

Jay watched Kaye anxiously. This could go one of two ways now. Either Kaye would agree to Jay's idea and perhaps get a little bit of relief or she would close up at the idea. Jay wouldn't have minded either way, though she was rooting for the former, since she understood that she wasn't as close to Kaye as she was to, say, Audie or Nikki or Will. She would have to do her best to understand that some people were more guarded with their hurt than others were. Luckily, though, she did not have to worry for long. It seemed that her silly idea had actually been a good one, and now she would be let in a little bit more. Jay leaned against the bed and continued to watch Kaye as she collected her thoughts. It seemed some of the color was coming back into her, and Jay congratulated herself on not pushing a friend into hysterics. Kaye went to get something from her dresser, and Jay looked down at her fingers, not wanting to stare at Kaye while she went through her stuff.

Jay's eyes rested back on Kaye as she came back holding something, Jay wasn't sure what it was. Oh no, wait. It was a memory box! Jay leaned in to see the picture, holding one corner with her right hand to tilt it closer to her face. "Nice to meet you Kale." she said solemnly before Kaye continued the 'lesson'. The picture was of an adorable blue eyed, blond haired boy that reminded her of Max a few years ago. She was suddenly quite sure that she would end up crying a little bit, though she also knew she'd feel guilty for doing so. Ah well, she was an estrogen-saturated female after all, so who could blame her. As Jay listened to Kaye, she realized something she hadn't known about Kale. From the way Kaye talked, it was becoming clear that Kale's death had been something that Kaye had expected, that wasn't quite the right word for it though, but had still not been ready for. Jay's suspicion that Kale had some sort of terminal illness was confirmed when Kaye brought up the Oncology ward. Kaye's words stopped for a moment after this, and Jay set her right hand on Kaye's knee, trying to give her friend what little comfort she was able to. Jay nodded when Kaye asked about the quilt; yeah, she remembered. It was a beautiful, handmade thing. She'd just assumed that Kaye's mom or somebody had made it with her.

"You two were pretty talented for a couple of kids." Jay said with a smile, one packed with as much warmth as she could muster, "So each of these is a memory for you two, then?" She thought about the immense size of the quilt, "You two must have had a lot of good times; good memories." Her nose started to sting and she had blink quickly to get rid of the water that was trying to swell up in her eyes. These were not her tears to cry. "Any you wouldn't mind telling me about? I know me and Will have some crazy times, but I didn't have any close friends like that when I was young. What was it like?"

As she shared with Jay-Jay, Kaylor became calmer, more at home. This was a subject she knew intimately. Kale was probably the one person she knew just about everything about. They had shared everything, after all. The most miserable days of her childhood, she remembered, had been those days that she'd been sick and thus could not risk going to visit Kale for fear this immune system would fail to protect him from her illness. So, she'd always strived to avoid getting sick, even going so far as to spend the night over in his room at the sterilized hospital. This had caused some serious viral infections later on, but it had been well worth it to spend as much time with Kale as possible.

Kaylor laughed and then pulled the quilt out from under her bed. "You flatter me, Jay-Jay, but we weren't that skilled. See here, this is the end we started on...See how clumsy it is? I had to re-stitch some of the squares last year just so it didn't fall apart on me. I swear Kale bled more making this quilt than he ever did at the hospital." She nodded in response to her friend's question, slender fingers trailing over different squares at random. Different memories filling her mind and fading away. Oh, if only she could return to those happy, innocent days of friendship, mischievous activities and laughter. "Yes, we managed to keep our fighting to a minimal, surprisingly...We were always hatching up plans, or at least Kale was, and then executing them."

She hesitated, biting her lower lip. Teaching was one thing, but sharing these most prized memories? Yes, it would be alright. It was just another part of the 'teaching' method. Pausing before she dared fall into a story, Kaylor studied Jane. "You never had a close friend when you were young? Oh, Jane. To have a friend you can depend on when you're young, someone you can tell all your secrets to without worrying they'll run to Mom or Dad was such a relief. I wish you could have experienced it too."

Pausing, Kaylor pulled the quilt between them and pointed to one of the earlier square. "This candy cane was due to a Christmas fiasco when we were seven. Kale threw a fit when his parents said he couldn't go meet Santa. We'd written our letters, but he wanted to go to the mall to meet the man. He was in the midst of a very serious session of chemotherapy at the time and no one thought it would be safe for him to leave the hospital. He cried for days and days, until I found out that the hospital would be bringing Santa to him. When I gave him the news, his smile lit up my world. It was like the sun had suddenly turned on after being off for a long time. I made this to commemorate his smile, the joy he felt at the thought of Santa Claus coming to the hospital to visit all of the sick children. Of course, he was unruly and wild the day of and we played a game of hide and seek with the nurses as our forced seekers. Just so that he could sneak off and find Santa early and thank him for coming."